Honestly, Cat, the squirrel doesn't want to play...
Aha. Yes, I'm back. Sorry to be away for so long but what with being invited to 60 weddings occurring between May 17th and May 20th, I've been a little busy.
Well...okay, that was a lie. I wasn't invited to any of the same-sex weddings. I didn't even crash them. In fact, if you ask Rany, I was "too damn pissy" to go watch as history was being made for me and others like me. And that is true. I was upset, mainly because it is legal for gays to get married in MA now and I still can't get married legally because my beloved is not a US citizen. If we got married, it would screw with her status here and we can't have that. So we're looking for a nice place to go for memorial day weekend so we can have a little committment ceremony of our own. On our anniversary.
*many many days later*
Ah so, I haven't been keeping up as well as I should with this thing. So here goes. Watch very carefully as more than a month speeds by...
My last day at work was May 26th (my job is only 42-weeks-a-year). I miss working at the Brown & Brew and I miss taking two buses every day. I don't miss filing. I will *never* miss filing.
May 27th was my brother's anniversary.
May 29th was my anniversary. And my friend Allison's birthday which I just NOW remembered. Fuck. Damn. Hell. Crap-a-doodi! (mental note: email the girl ASAP and grovel. Grovel muchly.)
Rany and I did not go out of town for our anniversary nor did we have a ceremony or anything. We had no money, once again, and I was panicking about the rent.
Early June was about sleeping in. LOL. I don't think I was meant to work before 10am. Rany is sure I was never meant to do manual labor at all and tells me that I have the feet of Royalty that were never meant to touch the ground. She swears that one day she will have so much money that she will hire four well-oiled men in loin cloths and leather strapping to carry me around on a litter made of gold. To which I said, "Will there be pillows, so that I may nap as I am carried from place to place?" Rany looked askance at me. Apparently I was supposed to be more impressed by the oily men than I actually was. LOL.
Buster, the amazing cat-dog, has firmly identified himself as an indoor/outdoor cat--which means he spends an inordinate time wandering the neighborhood only to return and sleep in our bed. It does not mean, however, that he is wash and wear. Him and water--no, no.
He has also been terrorizing the local fauna. One day he cornered a squirrel on our screened porch. Another day, while Rany and I were simply enjoying a nice day on the porch-couch, he alighted the stairs with a bird in his mouth. The bird was still alive, though roundly disturbed, and Rany and I shooed the cat indoors and corralled the poor birdie out the door with snow shovels.
Recently we realized that the cat has both times attempted to leave the woodland sacrifices not at our door, but at our upstairs neighbors' door. He has been trying--unsuccessfully, poor dear--to seduce our upstairs neighbors! For which he has been given the name Cat-Whore.
In fact, Buster has many names and many personalities to go with them.
Pretty Baby
Used exclusively for his cuter-than-cute modes (generally when he is sleeping) or for the times that he reaches up for our shoulders, wanting to be picked up like a toddler and carried around the house, purring like a jackhammer. Also used for the "Mommy's Home Dance", a ritual shared by Rany and Buster alone.
Prince Djibouti
For when he is lord of all he surveys. When he is Prince Djibouti, we are but his humble subjects expected to cater to his every whim. We bow and scrape before him and he deigns to allow us to continue breathing. He is vocal with his displeasure but not violent, for he knows where and when we sleep and holds this over us silently but expertly.
Fuzzy Sack of Cat Meat
This moniker is reserved for when he is at his most odd or irritating. For those special times where he walks into a room simply to yell at us for whatever slight, real or imagined, he may have suffered at our hands. For the times that he inexplicably rolls right off the bed and then shoots daggers at us like it's OUR fault he's so clumsy. For those times that he insists the only comfortable plact to sit in the WHOLE WORLD is right on our chest, covering our left ear and eye and making the watching of Cold Case terribly inconvenient. For when he decides that your singing voice is less than he expected and howls you down when you try to sing.
OWWW! GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF!! YOU RATFUCK BASTARD!!
Reserved for those times that his displeasure with us (read: usually Erin, aka "The Chew Toy") turns to violent means of expression. He has a pattented "Rapid Repeat" bite/scratch combination that leaves one the bearer of multiple bleeding wounds after only nanoseconds. The infractions that can induce this particular response are waking him when he is not in a good mood, removing the sheets from the bed for ANY reason, and/or moving your hand away from him slowly and non-threateningly.
Perv Kitty
Used exclusively for those times--uncommon as they may be--when Buster becomes enamored with my right foot as it lies beneath the blankets when I am sleeping. In his romantic haze, he mounts my foot, bites the blanket over my toes to keep me restrained, and then cat-humps me. It is MOST disturbing behavior and only Rany can get him to stop (she is the Alpha in our household. I rank somewhere below the food dish on the scale of importance.)
Anyway, we love him and that's all that matters. ;)
Mid-June has arrived and I am steadily looking for summer work and now near to panicking. Though I have some options to make lots of money, they currently involve being put through sleep deprivation experiments at a local hospital. Hooray for medical research!! You too can spend a week in a hospital not sleeping and pay your rent! LOL
So now we are mostly caught up!
I promise not to be away so long now.
Here's to cats and their willing slaves...
Well...okay, that was a lie. I wasn't invited to any of the same-sex weddings. I didn't even crash them. In fact, if you ask Rany, I was "too damn pissy" to go watch as history was being made for me and others like me. And that is true. I was upset, mainly because it is legal for gays to get married in MA now and I still can't get married legally because my beloved is not a US citizen. If we got married, it would screw with her status here and we can't have that. So we're looking for a nice place to go for memorial day weekend so we can have a little committment ceremony of our own. On our anniversary.
*many many days later*
Ah so, I haven't been keeping up as well as I should with this thing. So here goes. Watch very carefully as more than a month speeds by...
My last day at work was May 26th (my job is only 42-weeks-a-year). I miss working at the Brown & Brew and I miss taking two buses every day. I don't miss filing. I will *never* miss filing.
May 27th was my brother's anniversary.
May 29th was my anniversary. And my friend Allison's birthday which I just NOW remembered. Fuck. Damn. Hell. Crap-a-doodi! (mental note: email the girl ASAP and grovel. Grovel muchly.)
Rany and I did not go out of town for our anniversary nor did we have a ceremony or anything. We had no money, once again, and I was panicking about the rent.
Early June was about sleeping in. LOL. I don't think I was meant to work before 10am. Rany is sure I was never meant to do manual labor at all and tells me that I have the feet of Royalty that were never meant to touch the ground. She swears that one day she will have so much money that she will hire four well-oiled men in loin cloths and leather strapping to carry me around on a litter made of gold. To which I said, "Will there be pillows, so that I may nap as I am carried from place to place?" Rany looked askance at me. Apparently I was supposed to be more impressed by the oily men than I actually was. LOL.
Buster, the amazing cat-dog, has firmly identified himself as an indoor/outdoor cat--which means he spends an inordinate time wandering the neighborhood only to return and sleep in our bed. It does not mean, however, that he is wash and wear. Him and water--no, no.
He has also been terrorizing the local fauna. One day he cornered a squirrel on our screened porch. Another day, while Rany and I were simply enjoying a nice day on the porch-couch, he alighted the stairs with a bird in his mouth. The bird was still alive, though roundly disturbed, and Rany and I shooed the cat indoors and corralled the poor birdie out the door with snow shovels.
Recently we realized that the cat has both times attempted to leave the woodland sacrifices not at our door, but at our upstairs neighbors' door. He has been trying--unsuccessfully, poor dear--to seduce our upstairs neighbors! For which he has been given the name Cat-Whore.
In fact, Buster has many names and many personalities to go with them.
Pretty Baby
Used exclusively for his cuter-than-cute modes (generally when he is sleeping) or for the times that he reaches up for our shoulders, wanting to be picked up like a toddler and carried around the house, purring like a jackhammer. Also used for the "Mommy's Home Dance", a ritual shared by Rany and Buster alone.
Prince Djibouti
For when he is lord of all he surveys. When he is Prince Djibouti, we are but his humble subjects expected to cater to his every whim. We bow and scrape before him and he deigns to allow us to continue breathing. He is vocal with his displeasure but not violent, for he knows where and when we sleep and holds this over us silently but expertly.
Fuzzy Sack of Cat Meat
This moniker is reserved for when he is at his most odd or irritating. For those special times where he walks into a room simply to yell at us for whatever slight, real or imagined, he may have suffered at our hands. For the times that he inexplicably rolls right off the bed and then shoots daggers at us like it's OUR fault he's so clumsy. For those times that he insists the only comfortable plact to sit in the WHOLE WORLD is right on our chest, covering our left ear and eye and making the watching of Cold Case terribly inconvenient. For when he decides that your singing voice is less than he expected and howls you down when you try to sing.
OWWW! GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF!! YOU RATFUCK BASTARD!!
Reserved for those times that his displeasure with us (read: usually Erin, aka "The Chew Toy") turns to violent means of expression. He has a pattented "Rapid Repeat" bite/scratch combination that leaves one the bearer of multiple bleeding wounds after only nanoseconds. The infractions that can induce this particular response are waking him when he is not in a good mood, removing the sheets from the bed for ANY reason, and/or moving your hand away from him slowly and non-threateningly.
Perv Kitty
Used exclusively for those times--uncommon as they may be--when Buster becomes enamored with my right foot as it lies beneath the blankets when I am sleeping. In his romantic haze, he mounts my foot, bites the blanket over my toes to keep me restrained, and then cat-humps me. It is MOST disturbing behavior and only Rany can get him to stop (she is the Alpha in our household. I rank somewhere below the food dish on the scale of importance.)
Anyway, we love him and that's all that matters. ;)
Mid-June has arrived and I am steadily looking for summer work and now near to panicking. Though I have some options to make lots of money, they currently involve being put through sleep deprivation experiments at a local hospital. Hooray for medical research!! You too can spend a week in a hospital not sleeping and pay your rent! LOL
So now we are mostly caught up!
I promise not to be away so long now.
Here's to cats and their willing slaves...
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